As you think about how to handle your unplanned pregnancy, you need to know you have options. It is a big decision. We want to give you as much information as possible so you can confidently make your final choice.
The Adoption Option
Did you know there are many different ways to parent or be a mother? Adoption is just one way. Like all of your options, choosing adoption is not an easy decision to make, but it can be rewarding.
Understanding the Adoption Process
In years past, an unmarried woman faced with an unplanned pregnancy was not accepted in society. Out of embarrassment, her parents would “send her away” quietly to have her baby and then return home as if she had never been pregnant. The hospital she visited would handle the adoption, choose the family, and decide the future of her child. Thank goodness, all of that has changed!
Today, if a woman becomes unexpectedly pregnant, she has choices. Making an adoption plan is one of them. With assistance from others, the birth mother (and birth father, if he is available) makes all of the decisions. The birth mother chooses who the adoptive parents will be, what type of adoption she is comfortable with, and even what environment she wants her child to grow up in.
Myths About Adoption
“It would be too painful to make an adoption plan.”
None of your choices for your unplanned pregnancy are easy. All of them require lots of consideration. However, knowing your child is in the loving home of the family you personally selected can bring comfort.
“You are giving your baby to strangers!”
Nothing can be further from the truth. When handled through an agency or attorney, potential adopting families go through a rigorous screening process that includes background checks, home studies, and interviews. Through certain adoption plans, you can meet the family beforehand and begin establishing a relationship before the child is born.
“The child will hate me.”
Children who have the opportunity to know their birth parents and understand the circumstances surrounding their adoption have confidence that the decision to make an adoption plan was out of love for them. Together, the adoptive family and birth family make a larger extended family for the child.
Types of Adoption Plans
There are three basic adoption plans. Each plan can be tailored to suit your requests. No one plan is better over the others. You choose which plan is right for you.
As the birth mother, you choose how involved you want to be in your child’s life. Open adoption means you and the adoptive family share identifying information such as full names, phone numbers, and addresses. You can have access to one another through face-to-face meetings, phone calls, texts, and letters.
In the end, you decide what is comfortable for you, the child, and their family. You will have the opportunity to be a part of the child’s life in whatever capacity is best for everyone.
Some women who choose adoption prefer to have no communication with the adoptive family or child. To move on with their lives, they feel this is the best choice. You will still choose the adoptive family, but you will not interact with them before or after the birth. Your identity remains completely anonymous. You have total privacy.
A semi-open adoption means the communication you do have will be through a third-party adoption professional. You choose how much information and contact you would like to share and receive. Usually, the adoptive family and birth family share first names only.
The terms can be negotiated and set by you and the adoptive family. This option allows you to have a carefully defined relationship with your child and the family without the ongoing connection of open adoption.
Making the Choice
There is a lot to consider with adoption. Like your other options, parenting and abortion, it is a life-altering decision. You need strength and support to make this choice. We know you have the strength already, and we promise to be your support. Our client advocates are available to share the adoption process with you, give you referrals to respectable agencies that will love you through everything, and support you along the way—even if you change your mind and choose to parent. We want you to have as much information as possible to make the best choice for you. Let’s walk this life path together, it’s why we exist. You are not alone. Contact us today to set up an appointment with us and review all of your options!